Today has been unusually hard for me. I'm really swamped at work, which is making me crabby.
And now, it's still finally sinking in that my best friend, someone I've known for years, is actually having a baby. I literally started crying today because it makes me feel horrible. Everyone I know is either pregnant or has a baby. She was the one person who didn't. And now that's different. It's just so weird for me, I can't even explain how I feel and she will never understand. When she starts showing, I will cry. I honestly don't think I can stay friends with her.
I know that anyone else would just adjust and love her for her, and love the baby. But it's too weird! I'm 21 years old! She's 21 years old! She's still a baby herself! It would be a different story if she was not partying, or if she actually asked me to help her. But no.
We are at completely different stages in life. We just aren't compatible as friends anymore. It's time to move on find some friends that don't have kids, and are going to school like me! I have so many dreams and plans for my life. And if everyone else wants to settle for "good enough" they can. But I'm leaving this shithole of a town hopefully within a year!
I'm only writing about this because this is what's been on my mind, and frankly it's stressing me out. She has been talking to me a lot and wanting to see me. I am dreading talking about it because I know she will get mad. I don't know how to tell her that we can't be friends anymore without her hating me. I just want to move on. We haven't been close for almost a year. She doesn't need me anymore. I know that this is going to stress me out until we actually talk about it. It's not going to be easy. Goodbyes are never easy. Especially when I just know that she's going to hate me.
I just wish that I could talk to someone that understands how I feel. I can't even understand it. I'm just preparing myself the best I can I guess.
I'm just ready to start a new chapter in my life.
And now, it's still finally sinking in that my best friend, someone I've known for years, is actually having a baby. I literally started crying today because it makes me feel horrible. Everyone I know is either pregnant or has a baby. She was the one person who didn't. And now that's different. It's just so weird for me, I can't even explain how I feel and she will never understand. When she starts showing, I will cry. I honestly don't think I can stay friends with her.
I know that anyone else would just adjust and love her for her, and love the baby. But it's too weird! I'm 21 years old! She's 21 years old! She's still a baby herself! It would be a different story if she was not partying, or if she actually asked me to help her. But no.
We are at completely different stages in life. We just aren't compatible as friends anymore. It's time to move on find some friends that don't have kids, and are going to school like me! I have so many dreams and plans for my life. And if everyone else wants to settle for "good enough" they can. But I'm leaving this shithole of a town hopefully within a year!
I'm only writing about this because this is what's been on my mind, and frankly it's stressing me out. She has been talking to me a lot and wanting to see me. I am dreading talking about it because I know she will get mad. I don't know how to tell her that we can't be friends anymore without her hating me. I just want to move on. We haven't been close for almost a year. She doesn't need me anymore. I know that this is going to stress me out until we actually talk about it. It's not going to be easy. Goodbyes are never easy. Especially when I just know that she's going to hate me.
I just wish that I could talk to someone that understands how I feel. I can't even understand it. I'm just preparing myself the best I can I guess.
I'm just ready to start a new chapter in my life.
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